Have you ever wondered if you could control your actions? Are you guilty about reacting more than needed,to a situation? Regrets are your routines? Than this article is for you.
This article talks about the pause in between Stimulus and Response, Emotional Intelligence, and How to Control your Actions.
Stimulus: It can be any event that occurs in an environment,how a subject receives it and how is it processed by the cognitive system to generate emotional stimuli/response.
Response: How you respond/react to a stimuli,is response.Generally response can be influenced by previous series of reactions against a stimuli.
1) Getting a drink, when you’re thirsty
Thirst is stimuli.
Getting a drink is response.
2) Starts raining so you take an umbrella.
Rain is stimuli.
Taking an umbrella is response.
Intelligence: In this case intelligence is when you slow down take a pause and analyze the situation. Training our attentions to observe the details and question the stimuli and the appropriate way to respond.
Now that you’ve understood the different concepts involved,let’s take some examples to understand how to control our actions. I’ll start up with a quote from my favorite book “Man’s Search for meaning”
“Between Stimulus and Response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our Response lies our Growth and our Freedom” – Victor E Frankl
” When life throws a lemon at you, make lemonade” ever wondered why lemon and not watermelons? i’ll help you – Lemon is sour, Lemonade is sweet. which means if life throws something unpleasant at you, cheat your viewpoint to look at what can be the best you can make out of this situation.Metaphor of life.
What life throws at you isn’t always in our control which is stimuli. Stimuli are not something we could control in most of the cases, but how we respond to that stimuli is completely in our hand.There is a space of universe, a pause, an analysation process that has to take place between stimuli and response which could help you master your brain and control your actions.
Example : People who got kids in home can relate,there are two kids in home fighting which is usual. The younger kid goes and complains mom that the elder one hit him and mother without giving it a thought run to hit elder one. Most of the times we observe that the younger one initiates and provokes the elder one. Mother gets to know later and regrets.
What if mother could’ve taken a pause analysed the fight,question the elder about what happened and be rational in her reaction. This happens when we don’t have control on our actions.
Taking a pause is necessary to gauge where we stand, is it the right thing to do and understand a situation in a better way.
Somebody spreads rumours about a particular person and you go to believe it blindly and hold up grudges against them, ignore them when you don’t even listen to two side’s of the story and you end up judging and perceive that person in same negative lens. Pause, analyse, ask and gauge if that’s true and be a better judge than just believing whatever anybody says.
You go smoke,drink alcohol, consume drugs just because your friend is doing and give it a tag as rough phase or not the appropriate time to stop. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t booze or smoke. I’m saying that shouldn’t be your only option for grief or anxiety that ends up being addiction. Pause, analyze, think ask yourself,do you really need this? hanging out with bunch of good people or diverting you brain to goals will help?
This mindfulness thinking process helps you to train you attention, labelling and pausing before reacting. When we focus our attention in this manner we develop a rare high resolution of vivid perception of what’s happening to our body and breath which develops intuition.
This leads to stellar work performance, outstanding leadership and ability to create the conditions of happiness.
This then leads to a life filled with Control of your body and brain and Optimistic way of living.